So … What's it Like Working with Your Spouse?

That is the question we are most often asked. Having any type of family-owned business can be tricky, but it can be done with a concerted effort.

For those family-owned businesses, the below dinner table conversation can be a familiar one. Never mind the kids’ wanting attention, a dog that needs to be walked and other husband/wife roles that come into play.


Wife/CEO: How come you weren’t at the meeting today?

Husband/President: I’m sorry, which meeting?

Wife/CEO: Our staff meeting – the one we have every week? (“Why do I have to remind him of this? It’s like every Thursday morning putting the garbage out!”)

Husband/President: I told you we had a new client visit – don’t you remember? (“Why does she always nag – I’m her husband, not her employee!”)

Wife/CEO/Husband/President: UUGGHHH!


When we first started our company in 2002, my wife and I had no idea the number of surprises we were in for. No idea! It’s amazing when you wear every hat under the sun, how easily those roles can take over all facets of your life. Suddenly, roles start to jump over one another, and the Dad role takes second fiddle to employee relations, sales, contract reviews, lease agreements and the like. The Husband role bleeds into President, Wife into Events Coordinator, Daughter into BD Exec, and Son into Chief Dishwasher! How many of you small-business or family-owned business leaders feel the same way?

So, how do you juggle it all? How do you place boundaries around the business, home, family, friends, church, “alone time” and more? How do you get the roles to work together well, whether at work, at home, or at a client site? We’ve spent years refining our approach and keeping what works, and we think we’re pretty good at the juggling act. You can have a life and a business too, and your marriage can be as strong as ever. You can also keep the executive hat on around your employees, even when having varied discussions amongst your team members. So go ahead, throw the ball with your boys in the cul-de-sac and don’t feel guilty about the phone buzzing with the latest “fire” you have to put out. You’ve read our blog, and you’re good to go!
So what’s the secret? Here are some gems we’ve collected over the years that have done wonders for our company and our marriage. They just might help you regardless of what company you work for. Here goes!

1. Turn the phone/computer off when you get home. This sounds so simple it’s almost silly. And yet, many of us cling to this like we’re being weaned off our binky! We have to answer that email NOW – no waiting until tomorrow. We must read that text, stop what we’re doing, fire up the box and work. No matter that it’s family game night or Sunday right before church. This is ridiculous America – we need to lower stress and remember what is important.

2. Uh-oh – Trouble in Paradise. Not really, but if a husband/wife team have a difference of opinion in front of employees, the water cooler’s a buzz even though this may be a normal discussion between executives. Everything is amplified when brainstorming sessions get lively, and no matter what you say, folks will assume that the “husband and wife” are having issues or “something is going on.” That’s not the case, but you do have to carefully keep your boss hat on and logically, nicely and tactfully discuss the issue at hand. It helps prevent the grapevine from running rampant. Or at least keeps it pruned!

3. The 30-Minute Debrief. This is a lifesaver, and it has worked wonders in our marriage. Shoot, it worked great when we had our first kid, and Mom needed to hand off our bundle of joy to Dad – immediately! My bride and I used to talk work 24/7, and it dominated the day when we had a 5 and 2 year old. We worked together at the office, at home, in the evenings – it never ended. We made a rule and have stuck by it most nights. We get home, debrief about our day, make any decisions that need to be made, then that’s it. Thirty minutes tops, no if’s, and’s or but’s. Leave today what can be handled tomorrow, and all that. Enough said!

4. Top 5 at 5. It goes without saying that you should plan ahead for what you’ll do tomorrow, but few do it. Pick the top 5 things that you absolutely have to do and write them down. Use your planner, a note pad, or a journal. And don’t write the time wasters down like email, phone calls and the like. You can manage that with quick flags, follow up tasks and to do lists. This is what Stephen Covey calls the big blocks of effort that help you achieve your goals. Check how you did with the goals you wrote down yesterday, write your top 5 for tomorrow, and put it to bed. You’ll feel better, your mind will be at ease, and you’ll be able to listen to Sports Radio 1310 The Ticket all the way home without any stress. Greatness!

5. Um – How Are You Related?  Prospects and customers alike ask this a lot, and it seems to follow us in networking events, client meetings and even black tie affairs. When you both own the company, people get this image of Lucy and Ricky Ricardo – constant bickering. They’re not quite sure how you fit together and run the company. My wife and I have learned that we each play a vital role in the company, and we explain how we started the firm and the experiences we both bring to the table that helped us build a great company. This makes questions easily answered by either myself or my wife, or both of us, because we’re married, and we know what the other is thinking. Isn’t that right, Honey? Honey??

How to be Employee of the Month

Nowadays everyone seems to be either looking for a job or concerned they might lose the one they have. With unemployment at an all-time high, it’s no wonder. In the words of Cherry Valance from The Outsiders, “Things are tough all over.” (On a random note, anyone else cry when Johnny died? Sniff, sniff.)

So what should you do if you have a job and are worried it may not last? Here are my thoughts for what it’s worth:

· Work a full day. Don’t show up late, take long lunches, or leave early. If you think your boss won’t notice, he/she will. If not, I guarantee you someone will rat you out. Even if you are the top salesman/producer/whatever, it doesn’t matter. Business owners are looking to trim some fat and the folks who work the hardest and show the most loyalty rank almost as high as those bringing in the dough. There really is value in work ethics.

· Bring in the bacon. (In keeping with the food analogy) money definitely matters, too. If you aren’t paying for yourself and then some, your name will be on the chopping block at some point. No one wants to work a 60-hour week, but in days like these, you just might have to for a bit. So put the kids to bed, bring out your laptop, turn on some music, and get to work!

· Offer solutions. All companies have problems from time to time, and complaining about them does absolutely no good. But providing solutions … now that’s another story! Everyone loves someone who can help, so before you grumble to your boss, think of a solution that’s win-win for everyone.

· Volunteer. For internal projects, to write white papers, to mentor a junior associate, etc. You might think it’s brown-nosing, and it is to a point. But if you have the genuine desire to help, it’ll show through. By being your boss’s “right-hand man,” you can almost render yourself indispensible.

· Get educated. Now is a great time to expand your knowledge about your craft. Impress your boss with valuable input on your industry by discussing current events that may affect your company or share some great information from a recently read book (I mean one that applies to your industry, not the latest book by Stephen King).

· Network. This one serves two purposes. Sure, network for your company to help with sales, but also to promote yourself and get your name out there. The phrase, “It’s not what you know but who you know,” is incredibly true. Let me repeat that, it is incredibly true. Meet people, pass out your business card, connect on LinkedIn and at association meetings, send emails of congratulations to people who get promotions/awards, etc. In other words, become a face and name that everyone recognizes.

These are not sure-fire guarantees of course, but they certainly won’t hurt. And if your colleagues aren’t doing any of these, you WILL stand out. And hang in there. The economy is bound to turnaround one of these days, and when you’re in your boss’s mind come promotion time, it’ll all be worth it.

Empowerment Power

Almost sounds like a tongue twister doesn’t it?

I recently came upon a quite long but highly interesting article from the Harvard Business Review (HBR) on Empowerment. It talked about how empowered employees have created significant innovations in ways to serve their customers better. Most innovations have been facilitated by the use of technology that is readily available, easy to use, and for the most part, free – social media sites and online communities, cloud computing, online video, etc. Or the innovations are included in existing services that people already have, such as camera phones and mobile access everywhere. Using these same technologies, consumers are empowered as well: the article describes situations where consumers have had bad customer experiences and have shared with, in some cases, thousands of their Twitter followers.

So how is this relevant in the staffing and recruiting world? I believe just as relevant as it is on the consumer examples the article talks about. The fact is, empowered individuals come up with technological solutions they have access to. Any organization that empowers their employees to innovate, that provides access to the tools they need, will spur innovation from any area of a company – the administrative support staff, clerical staff, etc.

Be Your Own Boss!

Be your own boss! Set your own hours! Make as much money as you want to!

Ha, ha, ha, ha! Isn’t that funny? It’s a joke if I ever saw one.

Every new business owner knows that starting a business requires more time than you have ever worked before, and almost every dime has to stay in the company so you can keep it running. Starting out there is no work/life balance and certainly no windfall of cash for sunny vacations. Granted, there are exceptions to every rule, but more often than not, new business owners work their fingers to the bone and are forced to live as frugally as possible just to keep their business afloat. That’s why most businesses fail long before they ever hit the 5-year mark.

Let’s address the work/life balance dream. Unless you live in a place like Italy, you probably won’t have the opportunity for leisurely two-hour lunches and ending your work day at 3 p.m. Instead, you’ll rise long before your kids wake up so you can get some work done, have your lunches with potential clients or clients you’re desperate to keep (usually on your dime), and then work again after the kids go to bed. In fact, if you do have kids, you’ll probably find yourself trying to sneak peeks at your BlackBerry when they’re not looking so you don’t have to feel that guilt that always seems to come. (Or is that just me? Nah, come on, admit it. You do it, too!)

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Um ... You Stink.

How many times have we, as recruiters, interviewed someone who is fabulous on paper, but in person needs some, shall we say, career guidance? Perhaps the candidate wore a green suit, or shakes hands like a dead fish, or reeks of cigarette smoke. Whatever the situation is, it needs to be addressed prior to the client interview, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel.

Anyone who tells you presentation doesn’t matter is lying. No, we absolutely cannot and should not discriminate based on EEOC laws, but offering suggestions in other areas is not only helpful to the candidate, but the responsibility of the recruiter. Just be delicate and tactful.

Here are some issues you may encounter from time to time with your candidates: