Middle School All Over Again

I loathe bullies. To me, they’re just insecure jerks who like to torture people they consider weaker than themselves. Everyone remembers someone from their childhood who was a bully, and as I recall, no one really liked them. Sure, they had followers, but that was usually because the followers were scared of them and figured, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” As I watch my kids grow up, I’m astounded at how early bullying starts in the schools. And what’s even more astonishing is how many people remain bullies into adulthood. Instead of the playground, they use the workplace to find their targets.

It can be in-your-face or subtle, but workplace bullies tend to use belittling, manipulation or intimidation wherever they find an opportunity. According to KickBully.com, more than 30 million Americans have reported being bullied at work. Again, astounding! If you are one of those people, below are some tips to help. If you are one of the bullies: Grow up already!

1. Be a great employee. If the problem escalates to upper management, you want to have a solid reputation with the bosses for being someone who can deliver.
2. Avoid trying to get people “on your side.” Some experts suggest discussing it with your co-workers; however, sometimes that can backfire and your comments could get back to the bully, thus inflaming the situation. Your peers will likely separate themselves from the drama anyway, and the less you discuss it, the more they will see you as the mature professional.
3. Avoid public confrontations if possible. Should the bully yell or behave aggressively towards you, calmly say, “I can see you’re upset, so we can talk about this later,” then walk away. He will likely be so stunned he won’t follow you, but if he does, you can walk to a private office or conference room and eliminate the public display.
4. Should he follow you… calmly tell him that you’d like to buy him a drink so you can understand why he feels the way he does. This will also throw him off his game and he’s apt to accept if only for the free drink. It will give you time to get to know him and vice-versa, and your relationship might immediately change for the better.
5. Remain cool, calm and collected. Remember how your mom used to tell you, “If you don’t give them the reaction they’re looking for, they’ll give up?” She was right. That’s not always the case, but more often than not, they’ll get bored and move on, sadly, to another target.

I used pronouns implying bullies are male, but studies show female bullies are a growing concern. Regardless of gender, if the problem continues to escalate, there are many steps you can take. Please visit these websites for more information:
www.kickbully.com
www.bullyfreeatwork.com
www.howtohaveabullyfreeworkplace.com
www.bullyfreeatwork.com