There’s No Crying in Business!

I just read a good blog about crying at work, specifically as it relates to HR personnel crying/being sad when they have to let people go (http://hrringleader.com/2010/11/03/crying-at-work/). It basically said some people with firing authority are more emotional than others, but it all boils down to personalities.

But what about employees who cry over general management direction? How does that affect their managers and what can/should be done about it? I remember one woman who worked for me years ago who would cry whenever she received any type of constructive criticism – regardless of how delicately it was delivered. Since I was training her and her supervisor, it became a point of frustration for me because I felt I couldn’t provide direction without the water works starting up.

Now I’m a pretty nice, tactful person. I have a heart – I promise. And I’ve been in management long enough to have built up decent soft skills, so I can deliver just about any message in a professional, tactful way. But when you have employees who are extremely sensitive to direction, how do you handle it?

If you’re in management, hopefully part of the reason is you like helping people. So when you see someone more junior than yourself who needs a little career advice, is it your job to try to help them along? I personally think so. The catch is, not everyone will like it.

Working in a professional environment means this: be professional. Now I’m not talking about someone going through a really difficult time who sheds a few tears, I’m talking about people who boo-hoo at the drop of a hat. If you are the “cryer” please realize that although you may feel emotional about something, it’s not appropriate to constantly break down in the office. It distracts others and makes them feel uncomfortable. Excuse yourself and take a walk down the hall or outside until you can pull yourself together. You’ll be glad you did.

So what about my tearful employee? I finally sought advice from one of my mentors who suggested this: “Whenever she starts crying, tell her, ‘I can see you’re upset, so let’s take a 10 minute break and then we’ll meet here again to continue.’ Then get up and walk out.” It worked like a charm.